i think i have herpe
just one?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
