u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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