do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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