oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
