so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
