Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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