I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
