you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize