how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
