I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
