We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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