there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
