Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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