What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
