I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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