Taylor Swift is so right about you.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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