my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
