i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize