I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
