Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
