Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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