I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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