Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
