Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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