whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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