Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
