You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
