I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
