their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
