I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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