Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
vagina is talking i cant
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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