i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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