Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
