Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Randomize
