I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
