He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
