He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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