No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize