Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
