Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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