I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
