walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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