She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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