Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
