this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
