Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
