it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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