she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She's the barista slut.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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