It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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