I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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