Jerry, you need to find god
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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