I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
