I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
