Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
