I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
