So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize