so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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