I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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