I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
