I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just high enough for therapy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
