Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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