We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
