Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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